Friday, April 17, 2009
Saturday, February 28, 2009
subconscious.......
Monday, January 19, 2009
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
About new year...
Hmm i think this entry is a bit hanging,isnt it?but me still being the same me,i couldn't add anything to it to make it a lengthy post... :)
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
perihal tension....
berape banyak 'sbb' daaa...
Friday, November 21, 2008
"Stay hungry,stay foolish"
Transcript of Steve Jobs' 2005 Stanford Commencement Speech:
Thank you. I'm honored to be with you today for your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. Truth be told, I never graduated from college and this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation.
Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories. The first story is about connecting the dots.
I dropped out of Reed College after the first six months but then stayed around as a drop-in for another eighteen months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out? It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife, except that when I popped out, they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking, "We've got an unexpected baby boy. Do you want him?" They said, "Of course." My biological mother found out later that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would go to college.
This was the start in my life. And seventeen years later, I did go to college, but I naïvely chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, and no idea of how college was going to help me figure it out, and here I was, spending all the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back, it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out, I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me and begin dropping in on the ones that looked far more interesting.
It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms. I returned Coke bottles for the five-cent deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the seven miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example.
Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer was beautifully hand-calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and sans-serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.
None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me, and we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts, and since Windows just copied the Mac, it's likely that no personal computer would have them.
If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on that calligraphy class and personals computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do.
Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college, but it was very, very clear looking backwards 10 years later. Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect them looking backwards, so you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something--your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever--because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well- worn path, and that will make all the difference.
My second story is about love and loss. I was lucky. I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents' garage when I was twenty. We worked hard and in ten years, Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4,000 employees. We'd just released our finest creation, the Macintosh, a year earlier, and I'd just turned thirty, and then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew, we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so, things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge, and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our board of directors sided with him, and so at thirty, I was out, and very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating. I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down, that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure and I even thought about running away from the Valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me. I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I'd been rejected but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.
I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods in my life. During the next five years I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the world's first computer-animated feature film, "Toy Story," and is now the most successful animation studio in the world.
In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT and I returned to Apple and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance, and Lorene and I have a wonderful family together.
I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful-tasting medicine but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life's going to hit you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love, and that is as true for work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work, and the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking, and don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it, and like any great relationship it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking. Don't settle.
My third story is about death. When I was 17 I read a quote that went something like "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself, "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "no" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something. Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important thing I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life, because almost everything--all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure--these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
About a year ago, I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctors' code for "prepare to die." It means to try and tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next ten years to tell them, in just a few months. It means to make sure that everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.
I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope, the doctor started crying, because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and, thankfully, I am fine now.
This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope it's the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept. No one wants to die, even people who want to go to Heaven don't want to die to get there, and yet, death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because death is very likely the single best invention of life. It's life's change agent; it clears out the old to make way for the new. right now, the new is you. But someday, not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it's quite true. Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice, heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalogue, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late Sixties, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and Polaroid cameras. it was sort of like Google in paperback form thirty-five years before Google came along. I was idealistic, overflowing with neat tools and great notions. Stewart and his team put out several issues of the The Whole Earth Catalogue, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-Seventies and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath were the words, "Stay hungry, stay foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. "Stay hungry, stay foolish." And I have always wished that for myself, and now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you. Stay hungry, stay foolish.
Thank you all, very much.
'copied & pasted from'; here
I am not very sure whether i love what i'm doing now. I know i will have to find what i love if i want to succeed. I hope i will find it soon,very soon!
Thursday, November 13, 2008
progress report session,..ermm no,tunjuk gigi session!
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
seriously,i hate u now!
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
Friday, October 24, 2008
taggggy
1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves
3. At the end of the post the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves a comment, letting them know they got tagged and to ask them to play and read your blog
Starting time : 1850H
Name : sha
Sisters : 4
Brothers : -
Shoe size : 9/10,bapak gajah pon surrender!
Height : 5′4 kot
Where do you live : keyell
Have you ever been on a plane : yeap
Swam in the ocean : blum lg,tp ada dlm senarai 20 perkara sy ingin lakukan sebelum mati!
Fallen asleep at school :jarang sebenarnye,tp pernah.tu sbb waktu salin nota chemistry,kalium permanganate jd kalium kelaparan.jauh gle larinye!(takde la tetido btul,half asleep kot,tu yg bleh menulis lg tp salah eja...)
Broken someone’s heart : ada
Fell off your chair : mungkin ada tp tak berape nk ingat
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call : tido dgn hp kt sebelah,slalu la kann
Saved e-mails : mcm takde je
What is your room like : stuffy
What’s right beside you: chair
What is the last thing you ate : nasi ayam linda onn yg bau garlic die,mak aihh mcm tak nak ilang sampai kiamat!
Ever had…
Chicken pox : yes
Sore throat : yes
Stitches : nope,
Broken nose : almost...
Do you Believe in love at first sight : not quite sure
Like picnics : depends on the location
Who was/were…
The last person you danced with : serious,tak ingat!
Last made you smile : miss W
You last yelled at : my sister
Today did you…
Talk to someone you like : yes
Kissed anyone : not yet,:)
Get sick : nope
Talk to an ex : nope
Miss someone : sikit2
Who do you really hate: bau garlic yg tak ilang2
Do you like your hand-writing : yes ,mcm tulisan dr!
Are your toe nails painted : not now
Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in : my other half's,bkn ape,nk tau cemane tahap bau hapaknye!
What color shirt are you wearing now : gold
Are you a friendly person : not at all,but trying my best to be one!
Do you have any pets : yeap,catty cats!
Do you sleep with the TV on: now dah jarang,dah elok2 ada katil yg sakit2 badan tido atas lantai,bt ape kan?dulu pon ada katil cuma dulu semacam tak bleh hidup tanpa tv.
What are you doing right now : answering these questions while waiting for my PCR to finish
Can you handle the truth : yes, i think i can
Are you closer to your mother or father : both
Do you eat healthy : i'm trying now!
Do you still have pictures of you & your ex :abis delete semua dah.but die bkn ex pon,ntah...friend with benefit kot..
If you’re having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to : my answer sama ngan u la dalie,god and then my bf
Are you loud or quiet most of the time : quiet,i'm a reserved girl,okkk
Are you confident : i rasa tak tp dlm certain circumstances,i can be very confident
5 things I was doing 10 years ago
-pegi skolah
-berangan
-benci diri sendiri
-membesar bagai juara!
5 things I would do if I were a billionaire
5 of my bad habits
5 places I’ve lived/living
sorry ada satu je!dr lahir sampai la ni kt situ...
5 people I tag
1) ectopy
2) green apple-sy rasa kak d is too busy now to do this tag tp tag jelah
3) you
4) You
5) and yeah, YOU!!!,laktak laaa sape2 jelah
Friday, October 10, 2008
OH,IT'S THE FLAIR THAT I DON'T HAVE!!!
so in a nutshell,what i'm trying to say is i'm not that pathetic after all.
repeating the mantra:
I AM BRIGHT AND SHINY!!!
I AM BRIGHT AND SHINY!!!
I AM BRIGHT AND SHINY!!!
Reminder for myself....
i am reminding myself here!!!
it's not that easy to stop our mind from judging,right!?when i look at something that my mind recognize as 'something -deserves-judging',it judges it right away without asking any approval from me.so what can i do other than reminding myself not to and i not only write it here but i also say it out loud.as if i'm talking to or shouting at someone.if anyone see me doing this,they might think that i have gone cuckoo when the truth is,i'm trying to be a better person!!
Today's mantra; I AM BRIGHT AND SHINY!!!!!heeeeeeee
- Labwork still not giving me the expected result
- Labwork just give me shits and never result!
- i haven't got the antibiotic and so i cannot proceed with my jinxed labwork
- supervisors are asking for results and as usual nothing to show them.cloning sucks!!!
- People are going to the moon already and i'm still stuck here.My labmate won a gold medal in quite a prestigious conference,the other one going to present in an international conference and others are progressing
- My other half is in US now and his team is now an official team of xxx.His face now terpampang in xxx official website.He's really going to the moon and again,i'm still stuck here
- I received the scholarship agreement and i have to spend about RM150 for the stamp and med check-up
- It was stated in the agreement that i'm not suppose to work and that makes wonder whether being an agent considered working
- i'm confused whether to proceed with this part time work of mine or not since by right,i'm not supposed to
- my labmate accidentally told my supervisor that i'm an agent and he gave a look which make me feel uneasy,uncomfortable,worried,scared,_____________(feel free to fill in the blanks with other negative feelings)
- until today, i only manage to get two clients and both of them had only invested the min amount so when can i have my own car?next millennium?
- my parents are too old to work their *tooooot* off to support us and so it should now be my responsibility.but two clients with min investment amount?what the *toooooooot*??!!
but i'm goooood,i'm okay!i am fineeeeee!!!!I AM BRIGHT AND SHINY!!!!!
Monday, October 6, 2008
Dr. Doom
Your results:
You are Dr. Doom
| Blessed with smarts and power but burdened by vanity. |
Click here to take the Super Villain Personality Test
didn't i tell you i was born to be a doctor?!
and oh,he has good knowledge in all sciences including genetic engineering!hahaha...
trying very hard to make this butt stick on the chair...
I am pretty sure he's very busy now attending conference,workshop and meeting people and i hope he will be missing me as much as i miss him.
i just cannot make my buttock stick any longer on this chair here in this lab.I just want to leave the lab now but then wouldn't it be inappropriate to leave the lab when your supervisors are in,right?However,to be honest it's their presence that make me want to leave the lab.I am not having any problem with them but i just couldn't face them,not without any result in hand!
LOVE WILL COME THROUGH
You won't tell a soul
Will you hold it and keep it alive
Cause it's burning a hole
And I can't get to sleep
And I can't live alone in this lie
So look up, take it away
Don't look da da da down the mountain
If the world isn't turning
Your heart won't return anyone, anything, anyhow
So take me
Don't leave me
Take me
Don't leave me
Baby
Love will come through
It's just waiting for you
Well I stand at the crossroads
Of highroads and lowroads
And I've got a feeling it's right
If it's real what I'm feeling
There's no make believe
In the sound of the wings of the flight of a dove
Take it away
Don't look da da da down the mountain
If the world isn't turning
Your heart won't return anyone, anything, anyhow
So take me
Don't leave me
Take me
Don't leave me
Baby
Love will come through
It's just waiting for you
Oh look up
Take it away
Don't look da da da down
If the world isn't turning
Your heart won't return anyone, anything, anyhow
So take me
Don't leave me
Take me
Don't leave me
Baby
Love will come through
It's just waiting for you
Love will come through
Love will come through
Love will come through
Thursday, September 25, 2008
kalau labwork menjadi kan dah bleh raya dgn sgt happy!
tp kira ok lah kan sb sy risau and pening sbb bende yg bukan remeh.i mean my labwork is not a petty issue kan?takde la risau bende2 bodoh mcm dulu...
