High cal ice cream...

I think the proposal defending session ended quite well for me.Well here doesn't mean perfect.They commented on my problem statement and I deserves it.The panels wasn't that wicked lah,maybe because this just a preliminary thingy.wait until viva voce,ahhhaaaa i'm pretty sure it going to be very challenging!I guess that time all the panels with have evil horns on their heads...I like the way i handle myself before and during the presentation as i managed to stay cool all the way!no butterflies chasing one another in the stomach,wet palms,trembled voice and of course the 250beats/s heartbeats.so i deserve an applause huh!ohhh since i'm fasting today maybe i should treat myself with jeng jeng jeng...no!no!no!i'm on diet ok!

Ketagih...

I am so addicted to Grey's anatomy!
but this addiction leaves me with an unpleasant feeling.I want to be in the story,which is obviously impossible!I'm not even a doctor and of course if I were to lead that kind of life, there's gonna be a border to cross.


tomorrow...tomorrow...i don't feel right because i'm not worried.haiyee what's wrong with me being cool and calm now,rite?I mean one day before the presentation!hope i will remain calm until tomorrow...

Finally...

and ohh ma had submitted my xx form and i will be sitting for the exam this august.hehehehehe.i'm on my way to become a ........InyaALLAH...pls god,ALLAH,my lord do bless me...

dangerous feeling...

People around me (in the lab only) are all stressed out as they think that are not being productive lately.one of them were too stressed out last saturday that she had sms-ed me.I offered her some some encouraging words and she told me she felt better after sms-ing moi.I told her,it's a good thing that we are worried and stressed out for not being productive enough for that will make us realize that we are not working hard enough.This will then lead us to do something about it and so we will not be permanently unproductive!A counselor I am now huh!I am now worried because I'm not worried like them.well,to say that I'm productive,hmmmm i don't think so!but right now i'm just not worried.I just don't give a damn!yeah that's the word.DON'T GIVE A DAMN!!!am i giving up or i'm just taking things easy?i'm also not worried/nervous about the proposal defending thingy.is this a good thing or i'm on my way to failure?cutting open my heart now to have a peek inside...well you know what i can see?A big sign board..let me zoom in to read it...it says...I DON'T GIVE A FUCKING DAMN SHYTE!!!!and so,whatever lahhhhhh....but i like this feeling!it makes me want to dance on the roof of my car...haih this feeling is dangerous!

rasa nak....

Lab is very congested now with 9 undergraduate students doing their final year project.dulu i tak amik port sgt pasal dorang nih,yelah i pon kire br time tu.tp now dorang mula dah dtg mengacau i.bukan tak nak tlg tp mengada2,menyampah aku!dorang dahla satu haram ape pon tak tau ape nk bt pastu bleh nk mcm bagus plak.yg sorang tu tak puas hati sbb byk bende die tak payah bt sbb guna yg aku punye je and sorang lg menyalahkan aku sbb die salah order xxxx.aku rase nk lempang sekor2 pastu humban keluar tingkap.aku tgh tension ngan hal labwork aku and ko plak dahle kacau aku pastu pastu siap bleh ckp aku punye pasal ko silap order.SV pon satu,tak explain btul2 pastu biar depa tawaf pusing2 lab tanpa halatuju!dahla panggil aku kakak xxxx(nama project aku).blah laaa korang.ak koser aku kusutkan kpale hotak aku pasal korang.so next time korang datang lg,jgn harapla aku nk tolong yeh.

Form xx aku tak hantor2 lg.blenye nk sit for the exam weh?padahal aku dah ada client okkk.br td Pn Jxx sms aku tanye pasal hal xx aku.sbb die kata die dah janji ngan aku so die nk xxxx kt aku ler.tension okkkk.mau dekat setahun dah bertangguh!!
next week nk defend proposal and i will be first to present.My name start with S laaa,y first?dahlaa ##$%^& $%%^&& ^&*()(*&&^.ok ok ok malas nk kutuk!

rasa mcm nk tengking kuat2 and then cekik orang laaaa tp tak tau nk bt kt sape...

I am...

i am such a boring person!!!
Agree?

to judge or not to judge...?

Why i do not want reveal my identity here and do not want those who know me to find out about this blog?The reason is mainly because I do not want any of the character mentioned in this blog to be judged!That's all.Well,kalau perasan,ada beberapa or mungkin satu character yg di-mention dlm blog ini dalam bentuk yg agak negatif!tp sentiasa ingat,jgn buat any conclusion berdasarkan kenyataan perempuan yg sedang marah!I have always wanted to delete certain entries every time i read my blog as i thought i'm exaggerating.But if delete,then what's the point of having a blog,rite?so ble org yg kenal i baca my exaggerations,they may tend to judge the person that being described in this blog and i will not be happy with that.Well i would say that all the characters mentioned,are those whom i love dearly.Those are the important person in my life and thats the reason why their reaction/acts/behavior really affects me emotionally.maybe except for the comm of of oaths,my interviewer,clerk dean/treasury office and etc la kannn.
And of course i myself do not want to be judged too!Maybe the identity i created here is not myself.Well, me being a fickle minded person,my style of writing might change depending on my mood and some other external influences such as some other blogs.And this is the reason why i just could not understand how some people can go to some blogs and make nasty comments to the blog owners.How can you judge a person by his/her blog?you hardly know them.Well even if you know that person,you don't have the right to judge that person esp bout his/her personal stuff.

Yesterday my labmate was searching for my blog.She caught a glimpse of my blog and the moment i realize that i quickly closed it.And now she's tracking down my blog.hehehehe will you succeed Wxxxx?we'll see bout that.
So if any of you who know me happen to find this blog,satu je nk pesan...if you want to judge me,go ahead but just don't judge any of the person mentioned here.that's all!

ok now i think i'm exaggerating again.dalam blog nih takde laaa ape sgt kan?tak de laaa sampai rahsia bilik tidur and stuff like sume kan?kan?kan?

Buang baju and tag

Pegi baca blog dalie td and die telah tag saya.yelah asyik tak hapdate je kann...tp kalau tak malas,takde la miss sha namanye kannn.sifat malas tu dah sebati sgt dalam diri.haih..tp weekend br nih not bad laaa..sy sungguh berbangga dgn weekend sy yg lepas!ahahahahahha.
”i'm sorry XXX (no,not my mama,i love my mama,ok!)
i never meant to hurt you i never meant to make you cry
but tonight i'm cleaning out my closet
one more time!”
yea bebeh!!!sy sudah sucikan closet sy yg penuh dgn baju2 yg sy tak pakai.buat menyemak closet aku jer.bersih sampai mmg dah nak kosong.bijak tak?sampai takde bende nk pakai.bijak tak anak mak?hehehehe.sy nk tukar image,chewahhhh.baju2 tu ada je yg elok and muat dan sudah tentu chantekkk (ye ke?) tp sesetengah baju mengingatkan I kpd bende yg sy tak mahu ingat and so i tak pakai baju2 tuh.haruslah i buang laaa kannn.FYI i'm a very superstitious person.sooooo superstitious sampai mampu bt bende2 yg diluar batas2 normal!nk crite?takkkk payahhhh,i pon malu nk recall okkkk.ok back tu rombakan kabinet sy,xx telah dilucutkan jawatannya.hehehe takdelah.my mom bukak my closet die tanye lepas nih nk pki ape?sy kata nnt sy shopping.yelah sy kne laaa start tukar image,dah nk jd jutawan la katakan.knape tak percaya ke?well kanak2 sekalian,peribahasa melayu ada mengatakan alaaa cemane ekkk?lebih kurang gini laa; br dgr guruh di langit,air tempayan sudah dicurahkan.aku bkn takat air tempayan,dgn tempoyak dlm peti sejuk tu pon aku dah buang.i ingat nk masuk UT!blum masuk,baju semua dah buang,okkk takkk?well,i ikut peribahsa omputih nih,if we don't dream,we have nothing to look forward and to work towards.tp smalam aku dah pegi shopping skit kt OU(kak D,sy mmg slalu ditakdirkan utk ke OU jerk).bli baju and kasut!sgt sronok sbb dpt kasut yg kilat2 tuh.yelah i ni bkn senang nk dapat kasut.I saiz UK okkk.91/2 yehhh.haaa kaki anak gajah comeii skit.Well, this make me wanna curse my European blood!!darn you bloody blood!okkk enough with my buang baju story.lets move on to the tag.here it goes;

1. nama-nama timangan oleh org tersayang

• mak/bapak/kakak/mck/pck/ahli keluarga lain yg lebih tua;ADIK, ok apa maksudnye?dipanggil 'adik' wpon bkn yg bongsu...yeee anda tahu jawapannyekan?
• my other half; ape lg?dah die syg aku (confident je die syg,kan?),panggil SAYANG ler.
• SV/kawan/org2 lain di lab ni; SHA
• kawan di U dulu; 3 huruf akhir nama panjang i!
  

• kawan2 skolah dulu;nama betul aku yg sedap, suci,manis,wangi,harum lg merdu...

2. anda seorang yang...........

• pemalas
• kuat tido,dirumah sy mmg terkenal sbg seorg yg kuat tido.tgh drive pon bleh tido,huish bahaye tuh...
• suka berangan,insiden buang baju di atas,adalah salah satu boktinye!
• menurut kakak i,gila kuasa,hahahaha tp kt umah je kott
• suka memasak ikut imiginasi sendiri(tp bukan imiginasi xxx yeh,yg tu i tak bt time nk masak),sunday morning sy telah masak 'breakfast casserole' and 'celery,carrot n mushroom soup' yg sedappp nk mamposss.tak percaye?tanye makbapak,kakak,adik,mck n cousin kiteee
• anti social
• ingin mengubah dunia?itu die kottt
  

3. insan teristimewa.describe apa yg membuatkan die terlalu istimewa di mata anda.

• very the ambitious that sometimes i'm just afraid that he's too ambitious for moi!
• tolerated my nonsense,silly,unacceptable,moronic,satanic,&**%%##$%* mistake...
• very hardworking,yeah in average, he sleeps bout 3-4 hours a day (and i on the other hand,only awake for 3-4 hrs a day ehehehe)
• always has solutions for most or almost all of my problems
• I think he’s like Taq polymerase!
• dahhh tak bleh puji manyak2 kang naik kpale!

4. makanan favourite anda

• boleh dikatakan semua kecuali yg tak halal la kan.dah ohhh makanan2 yg tak masak tu mcm makanan jepon tu semua and also seaweed!so no sushi for moi!tempura okkk

"New Kids On The block,had a bunch of hit
Chinese food makes me sick.
And I think it's fly when girls stop by for the summer,for the summer
I like girls that wear Abercrombie and Fitch,
I'd take her if I had one wish,
But she's been gone since that summer..
Since that summer..."

• Well itu cuma lagu latar yeh.so enjoy!!!!oh yaaaa i loveee chinese food!chinese food makes me fattttt!!!
• Puey teow (read;kuey teow)...kung fu,char,soup,ladna,bandung,jakarta,medan,dan paling sukeee ialah cantonese kuey teow.so apa beza ladna,cantonese and kung fu?kuah die sume sama likat kan?nk tau ape bezanye?tang TELOQ tu!kung fu-berbalut telur,ladna-takde telur (pondan!),cantonese-telur dlm gravy die.jelas?ada soalan bleh kemukan ke errr,sila google sendiri!
  
• mashed potato....eeeii suke..esp yg kat Dave's deli zaman dolu2.skang depa pki yg maggie tuh.bleh laaa tp tak se-best yg dolu tu!
• minuman tak nak tau?just in case ada yg tau,aku bgtau ahhh...apple juice yg dgn label no sugar added kt botol die tuh.sukeee sgt.tp makcik i kata rasa mcm kencing kuda,lupe plak nk tanye ble die minum kencing kuda.time die ckp tuh die blom kawen,harap maklum!

5. favourite color

• sume yg kenal i pasti tau...ape jawapannye? (sambil letak tgn kt telinga)...yea bebeh BLACK.gaya,mutu,keunggulan!

6. favourite song

• gilo ko, nk letak sume?skang nih sgt suke I'm yours by jason Mraz
• tp biasalah all time favorite would be;AZAN,poyo!tp ni mmg tak tipu,suke dgr yg taubat tuh..."tuhanku aku tidak layak untuk syurgaMU tetapi tidak pula aku sanggup menanggung seksa nerakaMU..."how true!

7. sikap yg membuatkan anda stress

• ble aku cakap bt tak dgr
• sikap MALAS diri sendiri mmg sgt meng-stress kan sy
• byk lg,crite kang tak pasal2 aku stress kt sini
• actually sikap diri sy sendiri lebih banyak meng-stress kan sy!basically sy slalu stress sbb tanggapan/sangkaan yg sy bt dlm kpale hotak sy!
  

8. 3 bende yg mesti ade dalam handbag anda...

• wallet ler
• buku doa
• compact powder

9. kali terakhir anda menangis beriya-iya..kenapa??
few weeks ago...my cousin passed away...

10. tag 6 rakan anda
sume dah kne tag so rasenye takde maknenye aku nk tag sesiapa

SEKIAN...

r7rtyerytyry

Such a boring weekend i had!went to OU on saturday with the intention to buy some clothes but ended up just eating and watching movie.My cousin just got his car and so haruslah die bwk kitorang jalan2 kan...so tu yg gi OU tuh.We wanted to watch get smart but it was full so we watched nanny's diary instead.oklaaaa..takde laaa best mane n not that bad lah.
Every friday i'll be very excited because of the weekend but my weekend always end up with ordinary boring weekend.I'll be planning to do lots of stuff for the weekend during the weekdays but when time comes i'll be a slothful couch potato!believe it or not, now i am already looking forward to the next weekend,hehehehe...
It has been quite some time since i last fast (and why this sentence sounds funny eh?) and today i'm fasting.Now i'm feeeling so sleeepy and hungry...boleh tak?oooi pose banyak nk ganti nih...mane tak byk,waktu bulan pose aritu miss red spot melawat dua kali boleh tak?semenjak dua menjak nih miss red spot punye schedule dah haywire,tak tau knape.risau gak,al maklumlah i penah jatuh yg teruk gak sampai pinggang nih la ni pon sakit lg.padahal jatuhnye dah 3 tahun.gara2 derma darah punye pasal le nih.eei nk balik ceat laa arini.dok kt lab lame2 pon,keje mcm #$%^^&**& jugak.tp if ponteng tu mmg cr maut la kan.br td sume kne warning,tak bleh breakfast after 8.30am...eieiiii bibjgiojgigionbngntjgntjrlfmmmrgngjbnh bmhgjfri gtrotoij mbntigtriwg (sorry,ini bahasa german!aku je paham)

Tazkirah?

Saya tidak memiliki sesiapa dan saya tidak dimiliki oleh sesiapa

Saya milik-NYA

Dunia ini sendiri adalah satu pinjaman jadi segala-gala yang ada di dalamnya juga adalah pinjaman

Tubuh badan saya bukan milik saya

Ilmu yg saya ada bukan milik saya

Ibubapa dan ahli keluarga saya bukan milik saya

Harta saya bukan milik saya

Semuanya adalah pinjaman

Kesemuanya adalah pinjaman –pinjaman yang bukan milik saya dan oleh itu saya perlu menjaga kesemua pinjaman ini dengan baik sebab suatu hari nanti pemiliknya akan menuntut semula pinjaman-pinjaman ini

Jadi tidak perlu bersedih apabila pinjaman-pinjaman ini dituntut semula

Tidak ada yang hebat tentang diri saya dan oleh itu tidak ada apa yang boleh dibanggakan atau disombongkan

Tubuh saya hanyalah pakaian bagi roh saya yang suatu hari nanti hanya menjadi makanan cacing di dalam tanah

I drafted this thing a few days after my cousin passed away. it was from the bottom of my heart,dat time(and ble baca balik now,rasa mcm ntah leee,poyo?)!tp tulah keinsafan/kesedaran manusia macam kopi panas.lepas a few minutes tinggal atas meja tu,sejuk le die.tetapi tak dinafikan kematian memang menginsafkan tp nak kekalkan keinsafan tu,susah!sampai kadang2 rasa nk mati waktu tgh insaf tu sbb tau keinsafan tu tak lama...harap2 nyawa sy dicabut dalam keadaan sy beriman.

dan menjadi lumrah,walau sayang macam mane pon kita kt seseorang tu,ble org tu meninggal,sedih kte tak akan lama,tak akan untuk seumur hidup!life goes on...

ble kte redha dan sedar status kte sbg hamba and dunia ni tak kekal,hati pon rasa tenang sbb mcm tak koser nk tension2 pasal labwork laa,income/duit,masalah/kerenah family &bf and etc.dan juga tak risau melebih pasal future laa whether marriage nnt will work or tak or bf tukar jd monster lepas tukar jd husband and etc and oohhh tak takot melebih ble kne present ke ape...and of course tak rasa diri ini loser sbb tak dpt jadik doctor!tapi tulah,dapat rasa bende tu kejap je and bile that feeling hilang,tak tau nk dapat balik dr mana...sigh...