Mr Hyde is back!

Semenjak balik dr france nih my bf horny memanjang dan mula mencari pasal dgn i.tak tau ape yg die nampak kt france tu!mula balik meyakitkan hati i dgn mengungkit crite lama dalam cara yg menyakitkan,melukakan & mematahkan hati.That one week in France had turned him into Mr Hyde again after so long being Dr Jekyll.I just hate Mr Hyde!I cannot turn back and so I cannot change the past.Thus i want to accept the past and change the future but raving up the past in a sarcastic and heartbreaking manner is not going to help.Sgt tak larat nk gaduh2 nih...and die expect i cool down in 2 seconds!Petang smalam punyelaa beriya2 bg ceramah motivasi kt i pasal positive thinking laa achieving life goal laa ape laa and then malam trus bt perangai!dulu mmg i banyak bt salah tp now i rasa i dah bt my level best and i do it because i want to and so he don't have to raise the issue about me getting bored of him or me being forced to be with him.I have the choice and this is my choice,to love him and to be with him!when i thought my life is sailing smoothly,the wave came to attack and now i'm drowning...

Lepas tu pulak,dah penat2 td aku anto kt die sms2 berayat drama,bleh la plak die reply "syg, r u there?" as if aku plak yg tak reply sms die..oohhh apakah?ni membuatkan aku rasa nk tonyoh je hidung die yg mcm belatuk tuh!pastu br ni,baru kejap ni,bleh plak die miskol...bkn call tp miskol,bolehkah?so now i think i should scroll down to this.

My cousin...

My cousin met an accident last thursday and now in a critical condition.He's having internal bleeding in 3 parts of his brain that the doctors have to wait for the bleeding to stop before they could proceed with any surgery plus his neck bone as well as his rib cage fractured.The chance of surviving is only 50%.I was not that close with him,not at all as he used to be a very quiet and timid boy.and ouuhh he's young,my age!I went to visit him in ICU that night and since then I just can't get his suffering face out of my mind.However I am glad that i actually went to visit him because at first I didn't have any plan to visit him and wanted to go home straight before my sister suggested that we pay him a visit since the hospital is on the same way. When i went to visit him,his parents were on their way and they were only informed that their only son who also happen to be their youngest child met an accident but they didn't know that he was in a critical condition.The ICU waiting room was full with sombre faces and I didn't know what to say to console them that I had decided to go to the prayers room recite him a Yaasin as I thought that was the only thing I can do for him.I pray hard for him to win his battle...

6245 miles away...

Yesterday he was in Paris
by now I think he's gone to Strasbourg
he's 6245 miles away from moi!



My other half and I went for our first date for this year one day before his departure to paris
as usual,our date started with a drama...running & chasing...we are the drama king & queen!
and that only add to the severity of my superstitiousness!it made me believe that we will fight every time we go out...sigh...

Fair Fight Guidelines

Fair Fight Guidelines

• Remember the point of the fight is to reach a solution, not to win, be right, or make your partner wrong.

• Don't try to mind read. Ask instead what he or she is thinking.

• Don't bring up all the prior problems that relate to this one. Leave the past in the past; keep this about one recent problem. Solve one thing at a time.

• Keep the process simple. State the problem, suggest some alternatives, and choose a solution together.
• Don't talk too much at once. Keep your statements to two or three sentences. Your partner will not be able to grasp more than that.
• Give your partner a chance to respond and to suggest options.
• Practice equality. If something is important enough to one of you, it will inevitably be important to both of you, so honor your partner's need to solve a problem.
• Ask and Answer questions directly. Again, keep it as simple as possible. Let your partner know you hear him or her.
• State your problem as a request, not a demand. To make it a positive request, use "I messages" and "please".
• Don't use power struggle tactics: guilt and obligation, threats and emotional blackmail, courtroom logic: peacekeeping, sacrificing, or hammering away are off limits.
• Know your facts: If you're going to fight for something, know the facts about the problem: Do research, find out what options are available, and know how you feel and what would solve the problem for you.
• Ask for changes in behavior, don't criticize character, ethics or morals.
• Don't fight over who's right or wrong. Opinions are opinions, and that won't solve the problem. Instead, focus on what will work.
• Ask your partner if he or she has anything to add to the discussion. "Is there anything else we need to discuss now?"
• Don't guess what your partner is thinking or feeling. Instead, ask. "What do you think?" Or "How do you feel about it?"
• Hold hands, look at each other, and remember you're partners.
• If you're angry, express it calmly. "I'm angry about ..." There's no need for drama, and it won't get you what you want. Anger is satisfied by being acknowledged, and by creating change. Anger is a normal emotion -- rage is phony, it's drama created by not taking care of yourself.
• Acknowledged and honor your partner's feelings -- don't deflect them, laugh at them or freak out. They're only feelings, and they subside when respected, heard and honored.
• Listen with your whole self. Paraphrase what your partner says; check to see if you understand by repeating what is said. "So you are angry because you think I ignored you. Is that right?"
• No personal attacks or criticism. Focus on solving the problem.
• If you want to let off steam (vent), ask permission or take a time out. Handle your excess emotion or energy by being active (run, walk, hit a pillow,) writing, or talking to someone who is not part of the problem. Don't direct it personally at anyone. You can't vent and solve problems at the same time.
• Don't try to solve a problem if you're impaired: tired, hungry, drunk or unstable.

• Surrender to your responsibility. When you become aware that you have made a mistake, admit it, and apologize. Use it as an opportunity to learn and grow.

by; Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D


copied and pasted from here

Happy Mother's day!

Today is Mother's day!I haven't wish my mom.This mother's day wishing thing is not our culture but I think we are still a happy family.Well not that i'm saying that this mother's day is not important but it's just that my mom is not the type of person who expect her children to wish her, happy birthday,happy mother's day or stuff like that.Just bring her back a good result and she'll be A okay!but we don't do that often,sigh!
Ok so this morning my other half called me and asked me to call his mom and i was like "why?, what for?".silly me!!!I had totally forgotten that today is mother's day the idea of wishing his mom never cross my mind!And probably the reason why bf wants me to wish his mother was because his brother's gf had called his mom earlier to wish her.And so i called his mom and our conversation only lasted for ,hmmm let me recall...5 seconds?arghhhh i feel terrible!!!i dunno..i feel silly,stupid,arghhh...and i also feel that she doesn't like moi!!!She don't know what to say and i don't what to say.I don't know why people are always not comfortable with me,always think that I'm a snobbish person.Maybe i am or maybe conversation,speech,talk,socializing is just not what i'm good in.and ohhh dearie me!do i have to compete with my bf's brother's gf to win his mother's heart?Noooooo...this is why marriage institution sometimes scares me!there are too many issues,things and people to take into account.I really need some advice on how to enhance my relationship with my future mother in-law!

to my beloved mother;
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY,MA!

5 perkara pertama....

I was tagged by Ectopy
so here it goes;
5 perkara pertama yg terjadi dalam hidup

1)Pertama kali berjauhan dari family,chewahhhh

First time jauh dr rumah was when i got an offer to do my pre-U at matriculation centre in xxxxx.I ingat lagi i dihantar ke padang jarak padang terkukur tu on thursday tp ingat tarikhnye.my parents and siblings yg hantar except Pxxx tak ikut sbb die ada exam kot kt skolah.dah antar tu biasalah die bg masa la nk kemas bilik sume and then before 6pm if tak silap,sume parents kne balik.time tuuu kitorang sume punyelaaaa nangis,mmg nangis takk hengat okkk!!dgn my dad skali airmata berlinang-linang.my family time tu ibarat menghantar i untuk pegi jalani hukum gantung plak!heheheh mcm laaa i tak nangis...i punyeee nangis jgn crite laaa.siap dah panjat tangga nk gi bilik tuh pon tangan dok melambai lg.termasuk i,ada 6 org budak xtxx yg tercampak kt situ.itulah tempat yg paling i takkk soka(time dulu laaa if skang ni,tak kesah sgt kot).albeit there are six of xtxxians there but i'm not very close to them since high school so i was kind of lonely ler.kt sana, we all tak bleh bawak handphone tp i harus la ada handphone kan my parents akan call every night or tak pon i yg akan call umah!kt sana my friends ni sume panggil i manje!padahal yg my roommate lg la manje sbb die tu anak tunggal & die pon call parents die everyday gak siap parents dtg every week without fail just untuk bawak stock makanan untuk die.kitorang budak xtxx ni sume mmg laa tak tahan dok sana.kitorang bleh balik umah once a month je so balik umah on friday,sunday afternoon dah kne balik tempat tu before 6 pm!so time tu,pagi ahad je sapepon mmg takkan bleh nampak i senyum laaa kan.and then yg lg i taknak dok situ sbb penah skali time my parents hantar i balik sana,i kne marah dgn pak guard sbb x pakai baju kurung!bengong punye pak guard...lepas result JPA kluar ramai la kluar sbb dpt offer pegi oversea,i tak apply pon JPA sbb ntah,tak penah tau n ambik tau pasal scolarship nih sume.my roommate dpt so die kluar.then my friend sorang lg kluar pi JPA gak,sorang lg kluar sbb family migrate ke US and then sorang lg kluar sbb dpt offer JPA 2nd intake.last2 tinggal i ngan sorang lg je.tp my friend sorang tu je yg survive kt sana,sbb a few months later i plak angkat kaki dr sana dan dok umah bt STPM,ramai org kata pilihan bodoh tp ntahla...tp my friend tu lepas result matrix n UPU kluar,die plak migrate ngan her family to NZ,tak silap pointer die gempaq gak...

2)Pertama kali berjumpa dgn my bf
Ini terjadi a few years back,takde lah lama sgt!I kenal dgn my bf ni dr satu this dating web or whatever we call it lah kan known as LoveHappens.Mmg klakar dan pelik sbb i tak penah minat dan percaya bende2 ni tp ntah mcm mane saje gatal laaa plak n my bf pon kata die pon die punye student ke ape ntah yg masukkan.so die pon msg i n from there we exchanged email n start to email each other.From his email,i rasa yg die ni sgt laa polite n bkn jenis yg gatal2 nih.Then he gave his no. but i never had the guts to call until laaa skali tu i tgh tension ngan this one maths paper ni that i had called him.so lepas tu kitorang call2 sume.Then one day die kata die ada around my campus kt xx dulu and die nk jumpe so i pon macam terkejut laa sbb takde plan nk jumpe lg kan.I tak bgtau pon my lab kt mane tp he managed to find my lab and budged in to my lab.I was so shocked that i had asked him to go back...jahat kan?kesian die,dahla basah kne hujannye.tp lg satu sbb i takot mak2 tiri nampak.my friends 2 org ni were like "kesian die tau, sha suh die balik.td ble die nampak muke sha die excited mcm nampak isteri!".i pon tak tau why budak2 tu ckp mcm tu,i mean isteri?mcm pelik laa kan.Then i pegi la kejar die n soh die tunggu i siapkan keje skit.ohh ye,die siap pakai labcoat okkk...

3)Pertama kali dilawati Ms red spot
Ini terjadi sewaktu i berumur 13 tahun.time tu bolan pose if tak silap.i skolah ptg time tu and then balik dr skolah dlm 6 lebih tetibe nampak ada brownish stain on my panty and i pon sgt laa takut.i dah tau,ni tak lain tak bokan,i dah jd anak dara la nih,chewahh.tatapi permasalahannye ialah bagaimana hendak ku kabarkan pada ibuku?i ada la bt a few attempts untuk bg tau tp tak terdaya.yg mentensionkan i ialah,my eldest sis blom kne and then tetibe i plak dah kne so i tak tau nk turn to sape and rase macam malu ke ape plak sbb kne dulu dr my sis.and untuk pengetahuan sume,sy telah merahsiakan perkara tersebut selama 6 bulan!!!!!!i pon tak tau mcm mane i bleh survive!tp kadang2 tu penah jugak laaa bt2 solat walaupun tgh period,bleh tak?then 6 months after i kne,my sis plak kne and die dgn penuh gabranye telah memberitahu kt i.i pon slamba laa ckp i dah kne.my sister sgt rapat ngan my mom so bgtau terus and time tu br my mom tau i dah kne.since then my mom mmg agak risau dgn i sbb die rasa i ni perahsia sgt n from then if muka i lain skit pon sbb penat ke apa,die akan tanye bertubi-tubi ape masalah i....eh apasal banyak no 6 plak nih ye?

4)Pertama kali memperkenalkan lelaki kpd my parents
I sebenarnye maleh nk cite yg ni tp sbb nk cukupkan lima so no choice lah!I kenalkan my bf ni yg merupakan lelaki pertama yg i kenalkan kepada my parents during my convo.tp sgt mentensionkan...i lah satu-satunye org yg menangis di hari convo!after that day i telah diberi amaran oleh my parents not to see him again but tau2 jelah kan...takkan bleh laa i tak jumpe die kann.everyday jumpe n lepas ni pon nk pegi jumpe okkkk...

5)pertama kali pegi interview
Itulah yg i ada cite kt sini aritu...tulah my interview!I manage to answer all their questions n ntah laaa i rasa if dorang nk evaluate i, i rasa i punye presentation tu ok lah tp permasalahnnye drang mempertikaikan my project.yeah that ENCIK,pertikaikan my project yg telah dicadangkan kpd i oleh seorang PROF!maleh nk cakap dah la kan...tp mmg la patut apply under cluster lain sbb org2 ni tak paham project our group nih kot...

selesai sudah lah sy dgn tag ini....

blogger nih dah main gile balik,tulisan jd kecikkk...


Al-fatihah to Tan Sri S.M Nasimuddin S.M Amin.May ALLAH bless his soul.Ameen....

tak jadi lg!

kenape tak jd lagi?
sy tak larat dah!!!
berape kali i nk kne repeat?
dengki!!!!!!